Backseat - From Where I Sit

November 2003

By: Michelle

Celebrate This!

Just as sure as the re-setting of the clocks to Daylight Saving Time guarantees not only will I drive to work in the dark but arrive home in it as well, there is no denying the long lovely riding days of late summer and early autumn are no longer with us. As we start to pack away the summer gear and drag out heavy jackets, winter gloves and chaps another season begins as well - the season of holidays. That wonderful time of year where it seems almost every week has some sort of celebration. It all starts with Halloween and before you even have time to unfurl that last wrap of your mummy costume, we have gone through Veterans Day, Thanksgiving and are in the home stretch toward Christmas. We all know the drill. Its not that I am complaining, but there is something about seeing Christmas decorations in the stores as early as August that seems to steal some of the thunder of these great holidays. To fight off my own urge to become a humbug about the whole holiday season, I think it is high time we look at some other possibilities.

Many of our holidays celebrate heroes of our past, such as Columbus Day. Today, there are many people worthy of their own holidays as well. No one has had more influence on our modern day attitude than the inventor of the little yellow smiley face. This accomplishment is worthy of recognition with a day off work. I know the look on my face as I lounge the day away would be a picture perfect tribute. Maybe I would even put on a little yellow face paint to pay homage to the guy.

Then there are many holidays that are dying to be born out of necessity. In the Adkins Diet crazed world, we are just begging for "National Eat a Carbohydrate Day" where deprived dieters can freely scarf down thick crust pizza, buttery croissants and over-sized bagels - all in the spirit of honoring the holiday. It should be noted that this should be a floating holiday where the user can declare it whenever those deep rooted cravings dictate. Another suggestion would be to immediately follow this with "National Love Your Spandex Day" so there would be no tell-tale evidence of those who celebrate "Carbohydrate Day" a bit too often.

Modification of Existing holidays is always a convenient idea that could lead to easier acceptance by the general public. How about "Bring Your Inner Child to Work Day" instead of the existing "Bring Your Child to Work Day". That way, it would be YOU that runs from office to office raiding candy dishes on everyone's desk, taking naps in the back of the room during boring meetings and playing video games on your computer. Why should your children have all the fun? Just remember you will have to write a short term paper on your experiences afterward to get credit for your absence.

In search of the perfect holidays to celebrate, naturally I searched for something to honor bikers. The closest I came is "Waiting for The Barbarians Day" on November 4th. I suggest that this holiday be updated with the more user friendly "National Hug a Biker Day" in the spirit of peace and harmony. Heck, why not declare November "National Biker Month". All it would take is to get some politician to read a Declaration in Congress and Bingo! You’re in! How hard can it be? Remember these guys actually passed a law declaring that it is "illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8AM and after 4PM" in Norfolk, Virginia. We are all just a letter writing campaign away from "National Ride Your Bike Any Where but to Work Day".

For those of us who want the government less involved in our personal choices, I say declare your right to self-govern and create your own holiday. Around our house we have already started celebrating "National Broccoli Free Day". (There have been some in the family who have voted to make this a terminal holiday but since eating at Chinese restaurants always includes a mandatory broccoli dish - this may be hard to enforce). Your family may insert another vegetable of choice for this holiday. I personally wanted it to be "National Brussel Sprout Free Day" but I got outvoted - majority rules.

So this year, if the typical holidays are starting to make you feel a little burned out, add a little flair to the season as well as show off your knowledge of the lesser known holidays. For example, this Thanksgiving (November 27th) you can add to your celebration by literally "sticking it" to a few of your guests in honor of the legally declared but lesser known "Pins and Needles Day". I guarantee your guests will remember more than the turkey.

Happy Holidays!

Thanks for visiting VirginiaWind.

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